Hulk Smash!

Then Hulk engage in rough sexual congress with you!

I am in the throes of PMS, which means I am totally angry, hungry, and horny. Those are not three great tastes that go great together, by the way.

I needed to go to Target tonight and since I was already in Alhambra, I thought I'd stop by the Target there. BIG MISTAKE. Whoever designed their parking is either a complete masochist or flunked all their urban planning classes. That is one fucked up parking lot. After driving in circles for ten straight minutes, I left in a fury before I popped a blood vessel or burned the store to the ground (a threat I shouted out the window as I drove by the entrance of the store, startling several shoppers).

By the time I got back to Pasadena, I was somewhat calmer and managed to park and enter the Target there without any tears or violence. However, not being able to find the paper towels that were on sale enraged me, as did my momentary belief that Target had suddenly stopped carrying Equal.*

Then there was this hot guy I kept bumping into in the store, until I was a seething pool of sexual energy and had half a mind to accost him in Electronics. (Cleanup in aisle 6, cleanup in aisle 9.) Lucky for him, my attention was distracted by the fact that The Notebook, which was supposed to be on sale for $10, was actually $13. I think this is when my skin turned green and my pants shredded around my massive thighs.

I managed to leave the store without killing or sexually assaulting anyone, but to soothe the savage beast within, I had to stop for a Neapolitan shake at In-N-Out. Mmmmmm...it's like the opposite of gamma rays. I highly recommend bringing me one of these if you think you might upset me this week.

* I actually did harbor a belief that perhaps Target had stopped carrying Equal for some sort of moral reason when I couldn't find it next to the other sweeteners in the store. A few weeks ago, Jenny told me Equal was originally developed as a neurotoxin to kill ants. I'm still not sure if I believe this (or if I care, since it tastes AWESOME) but I was pretty panicky when I thought I'd have to settle for Splenda instead.