Thursday, November 06, 2008

Better Living Through Dentistry

So I finally gave in and got a night guard.

Not the one that my dentist wanted to custom mold for the low, low price of SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS (!!!), but rather the one I found at Target for $19.99 that looks like this:



Look, a malleable plastic hocky puck! Just boil and bite to prevent the nighttime grinding* that will wear your teeth to nubs and cause unbearable headaches.

In good news, it's making me sleep better, despite feeling like I'm wearing orthodontic headgear again.**

In bad news, I'm probably absorbing phthalates or bisphenol-A and as a result will have early on-set Alzheimer’s. Also I can't imagine wearing it to bed with someone beside me.

* Mmm, nighttime grinding...

** Yes, I wore headgear. It was humiliating.

4 comments:

jjomomma said...

Headgear is HOT!

anna banana said...

pobrecita... for what its worth, i have no recollection of you in headgear. but many other, equally humiliating ones i could share if you like :)

renee said...

hey...there's a special someone who would dig a mouth guard. ya know...someone into field hockey/wrestler/lacrosse look...
just say it's a role play toy!

City Elf said...

anna, i thought we agreed to keep your humiliating recollections about me just between us! renee, i think i found my special someone and apparently it's jenny. ;)