So I Was Thinking About Carmen Miranda

I've been on something of an orange kick lately - the fruit, not the color. I had the most delicious orange recently, so when I saw that Ralphs had navel oranges on sale this week, I picked up three. (I figured by the third one, I might be tired of citrus and/or cured of my scurvy.)

This led me to thinking about which fruits are usually tasty, and which ones are usually disappointments. Oranges can actually be hit or miss; it's always sort of sad to get one that's bland and flavorless. But bananas, for example, are generally a pretty solid fruit; it helps that you can tell just by scent whether one is going to taste good or not.

Today's list is about the most boring one I could think of, which is to say, the sort of thing I normally have in my head. Anyhow, it's fruit. Good fruit. Maybe I'll do a bad fruit list later this month, you never know.

1. Bananas. As I mentioned, it's hard to find a bad banana. Even if you get one that's underripe, you can just wait it out. If it's overripe, you can make banana bread or grow a fruit fly colony.

2. Limes. These almost don't count, because who eats just plain limes? Limes are meant to cohabitate with alcoholic libations, like mojitos or vodka tonics or bad Mexican beer. But I have to put them on the list. I trust limes. I would vote for a lime for President, or at least to represent me in Congress. Plus they taste great squeezed over tacos.

3. Grapes. You can usually tell with a quick glance if a grape is good (i.e., not moldy or wrinkly/raisiny). Even an imperfect grape is still pretty tasty. And hey, jelly!

4. Pears. Pears are also trustworthy fruit. You can almost always count on a pear to taste like a pear, except when it's been sliced up and soaked in heavy syrup. Then a pear is just nasty, but that's not the pear's fault. Blame Bob Dole.

5. Mangoes. Now, admittedly, I have very little experience with mangoes. But when I've paid attention to the guidance of other brown people (the mango experts of the world, truly) in regards to the care and eating of mangoes, I've had positive mango experiences. Also, dried mango? Werd.

6. Blueberries. I actually don't think blueberries are very flavorful, but somehow they strike me as honest fruit. I've never had a disappointing blueberry, at least not one that was any more disappointing than all the others I've ever eaten. They taste pretty good over other things (yogurt, oatmeal) and they have a unique color, for fruit at least. They're sort of like the accountants of the fruit world - a little boring, but reliable.

7. Avocados. For serious. Avocados practically shout at you when they're ripe. You have to be a dolt not to notice. And guacamole is possibly the world's most perfect food.

Anyhow, there you have it. A list. A list about fruit. Welcome to March, people. I'm here all month.