Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Why You Don't Want to Date Me

Let's say, hypothetically, that you've been trying to date me for months, and despite being pretty cute and oddly interesting and occasionally even charming, you have been stuck in the friend zone.

Let's say, hypothetically, that while I'm not interested in dating you, I'm a little drunk and very horny and I think a booty call might be nice.

And let's say, hypothetically, that confronted with the opportunity to actually see and utilize my hoo-ha, you are overcome with performance anxiety.*

Perhaps my loudly suggesting that you stop stressing, be quiet, and f*ck me already (hypothetically) might not help your situation.

* BTW, if this should happen, this is why I would not want to date you.


Anonymous said...

Sounds like you're the typical modernday afflicted stuck up picky woman.

You're EXACTLY the kind of woman I avoid... simply because, you play too many games.

Life is not all about what YOU want, he has wants and desires of his own.

I read these things and think - who do these women are that think they're such princesses...

your tiara is rusty sweetie - you're no better than anyone else.

City Elf said...

My God! My tiara IS rusty! I thought it was made of solid gold!