I'm a Survivor (fan, that is)

We were watching Survivor: Exile Island last night, and I swear to God, that show could not be scripted to be any funnier.

Since Terry is the last former La Mina member, it was pretty obvious that he was going to need to win an immunity challenge or use his immunity idol. But first up was an awesome reward challenge (helicopter ride, spa treatment, and a meal), made even more awesome because it brought out the divisions in the group. Everyone got a survey with the questions about their fellow castaways to fill out. Then, as a group, they were asked the questions and had to answer with who they thought everyone else picked. Every right answer helped someone advance to win reward. It turns out everyone thinks Courtney is a poser who never shuts up, and Shane mistakenly thinks he is in charge. The fury! The heartbreak! The overemotional craziness of Shane and Courtney after feeling they were stabbed in the back instead of accurately assessed by their team!

Cirie was a rockstar with her answers, even though Aras obviously threw the last question to let her win, knowing she would get to take at least one person with her. (She got to take two, choosing Aras and Danielle, completely pissing off Shane in the process.)

Meanwhile, poor Bruce nearly died from not pooping. I felt awful for him, writhing around in pain with a backed-up colon, but his sad little grunts and the anguish on his face when Courtney actually tried to SING TO HIM to soothe his pain made me laugh so hard I almost cried. He could barely speak from the pain, but when her vocals started, he managed to beg her: "Don't."

My favorite part, though, was when the medic explained to Shane that he couldn't rule out that Bruce's appendix was the problem and he would need the rest of the groups' help to get Bruce out on a stretcher. Shane was like, "Uh, right now?" Hello, the man may be dying, so yes, right now. And then Shane says, "Well, I'm naked if that bothers anybody. I just can't sleep in wet pants." FMC wondered how the hell Shane's pants got wet, since the challenge was on the sand, but I'd just as soon not know. Shane is a freak, man.

There was no tribal council, since Bruce is out of the running due to his impacted digestive system. (Apparently, even his bladder was blocked - how the hell did that happen?) Terry gets one more week to shoot for immunity and hope the Casaya members turn on one another. Should be another good episode next week!