29 Going on 65

Even though that title refers to me, I don't really feel old (though I am approaching 30 this November and my mother makes it seem like my ovaries are dried little husks at this point.) My friend Erin celebrated her 30th in D.C. last year and her friends got a cake that read, "30 is the new 21", a sentiment with which I can heartily agree.

I guess it's just that I just love old people. I am currently sporting one of those ubiquitous rubber bracelets, only mine is red and reads "I (Heart) Social Security". I was ecstatic last week because while I have some potential jobs on the horizon, AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) finally called me back about an opening I've been waiting on for two months. I desperately want to work there! And not just for the discount card!

It's sort of weird, because I look really young for my age, so when I was working with AARP folks a few years ago down in San Diego, all the members kept treating me like I was their cute granddaughter. It took a while for them to take me seriously, but once I started spouting off statistics about Medicare and nursing homes, they liked me a lot. I remember one lady came up to me and said, "You seem so young but you care about us!" Like it was shocking that I didn't want to bankrupt grannies and have them eating cat food to afford arthritis medication. So anyhow, working for AARP, that's my dream job.

Plus, I can't watch DVDs anymore without the subtitle function. And I use terms like "giving him what for" and "the bee's knees". And I like the Glen Miller Band.

In my defense, I don't wear orthopedic shoes or dentures...yet.