I Feel Smarter Already

Remember that Seinfeld episode, The Abstinence?

Elaine: Portuguese?

George: Yeah, my cleaning lady's Portuguese. I must've picked it up.

Elaine: How come he's gettin' so smart? I stopped having sex with Ben three days ago and I don't know no Portuguese?

Jerry: Are you all right?

Elaine: I don't know. It's just the last coupla days my mind has been, not good.

Jerry: Wait a second, I know what's happening. The no sex thing is having a reverse effect on you.

Elaine: What? What are you talking about?

Jerry: To a woman, sex is like the garbage man. You just take for granted the fact that any time you put some trash out on the street, a guy in a jumpsuit's gonna come along and pick it up. But now, it's like a garbage strike. The bags are piling up in your head. The sidewalk is blocked. Nothing's getting through. You're stupid.

Elaine: I don't understand.

Jerry: Exactly.

I'll just say that today was my most productive day at work in several months.

And if they want more out of me, they should hire a garbage man as my new assistant.