Saturday, October 18, 2008

I Like Candy, I Like Corn

Man, I love Fall.

Fall means Halloween and Halloween means CANDY. I was wriggling with excitement during a recent trip to Target when I realized I could buy a bag of candy corn. NOM!!1!eleventy!!

I was heading towards the Halloween section when I ran into my friend David, who works at the store, and he walked me over there so we could hang and talk for a bit. There were stacks and row and bins of EVERY KIND OF EFFING CANDY EXCEPT FOR CANDY CORN. What the hell? Is candy corn not the definitive candy of Halloween?

We went up and down every single aisle and couldn't find it. I began to fear that the government had used all the candy corn to make candy ethanol and now there was none left for human consumption. Finally, we found two bags of candy corn hidden away in a corner. TWO BAGS! Maybe there was some sort of candy corn run before I arrived.

I just ate about twenty little niblets of it. There's no fat in candy corn, but the first four ingredients are corn syrup, sugar, salt, and honey. Of course, the second four are candle wax, orange crayons, yellow crayons, and white crayons. Still, very delicious.

However, the problem with candy corn is that a little goes a long way. I already feel vaguely ill. I think of candy corn as the deviant porn of the candy world. At first it's like, yeah, alright, this is awesome! Bow chicka bow bow! But pretty quickly, you're like oh, my stomach hurts. I totally didn't realize there was going to be a donkey involved.


TMC said...

yummyummyummyummyummyummyummyummy. We've got aisles of it here because, you know, we grown corn of all varieties. : )

renee said...

love, love, love candy corn. the texture is awesome and they are not TOO sweet...but yeah, tummy-aches definitely are in order.

also love, love, love the word niblet!

jjomomma said...

Nice one!

I will for always think of a donkey when eating candy porn.

City Elf said...

re: niblet, i couldn't think of what else to call a single piece of candy corn!