Clinton Bows Out
PHILADELPHIA - Following a speech before hundreds of labor union members, the press was told Hillary Clinton would hold a press conference. The press sat patiently for Clinton to finish shaking hands with supporters in the other room. Within minutes, a somber looking Clinton approached the podium, her equally morose looking staff stood nearby.
"I want to take a moment to say that this has been a very hard fought race. Each of us is drawing enormous support. We clearly need to do something so that our party and the people can make the right decision," Clinton said.
"I have made my decision and though it has not been easy, I know it is the right course of action. As of today, I am formally withdrawing from the race. I wish to thank all my supporters for their steadfastness throughout the campaign, and ask that they show that same loyalty to Sen. Obama, our next President of the United States."
UPDATE: Happy April Fool's Day!