Some of the more interesting and/or amusing lines from the past week's text messages, email, and Yelp communications:
Where are you? brown chicken, brown cow
how come you only hang out with girls that have big boobs?
Anyway, maybe I will ask for a referral to a homo-obgyn.
Your mom wants to flashdance.
don't worry, i hear they have beer at this chicken place.
All we're missing now are the trucker caps. Not for irony, but for authenticity.
At least when I start living in a box, I'll have YouTube on my phone, until I get beat up and someone steals it.
(I also liked "Reservations are a courtesy, not a binding agreement," even though it was only an automated response from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre website.)