The Sexiest Animals In A Farmyard

Some of the more interesting and/or amusing lines from the past week's text messages, email, and Yelp communications:

Where are you? brown chicken, brown cow

how come you only hang out with girls that have big boobs?

Anyway, maybe I will ask for a referral to a homo-obgyn.

Your mom wants to flashdance.

don't worry, i hear they have beer at this chicken place.

All we're missing now are the trucker caps. Not for irony, but for authenticity.

At least when I start living in a box, I'll have YouTube on my phone, until I get beat up and someone steals it.

(I also liked "Reservations are a courtesy, not a binding agreement," even though it was only an automated response from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre website.)