Even Superheroes Get The Blues

I would venture a guess that pretty much everyone who knows me thinks I'm an extrovert. And I am, but mostly because it seems to make other people really happy. I have a lot of friends who are very shy and my outgoing personality helps them cope with social situations, acting as a sort of shield that can protect them from the anxiety and nervousness they feel when surrounded by other people.

They probably have no idea that I sometimes walk into a room beside them and my stomach drops when I see the sheer number of people there, realizing that it will be hours before I can just relax and not be "on".

I developed the ability to do the whole social butterfly thing for two reasons: one, it was my job (it's hard to do outreach when you're afraid of other people); and two, I really can't stand to see people look lost and alone. You know what I mean - you go to a party and there's one person standing off to the side, not making eye contact with anyone, obviously wishing the floor would swallow them whole. I've been that person, and even now that I'm not, I sometimes still feel that way. It's that feeling that compels me to rescue the wallflowers, to coax laughter from the shy, to conquer the fears of the neurotically anxious. My superpower is to save the lonely.

Unfortunately for me, the older I get, the more I realize I need a considerable amount of solitude to recuperate after serious socializing. Which is to say that I spent last night (and plan to spend the majority of today) curled up in bed in my bathrobe and not talking to anyone so as to have enough energy to go out again tonight. Ah, the glamorous life of a superhero!