Giving the Finger

As I was leaving a board meeting last night around eight, I checked my voicemail. FMC had left me a weird message: "Call me before you head home. I have a story to tell you."

I could tell something was up; he didn't sound like himself. When I called, I immediately asked, "What's wrong?" He paused for a second and then wailed, "I cut myself!" Now, FMC is not a whiner like me. He has to really be hurt to complain, so I was freaking out. For good reason - it turns out he lopped off the top 1/4" of his left middle finger! And he was worried about me, in case I got home, saw blood everywhere and pictured a mob hit.

He was down in the garage to install a kickstand on his bike and being a manly man, he had his multi-purpose knife out to remove the plastic ties binding the kickstand to a piece of cardboard. Apparently, the knife was quite sharp, the ties and cardboard quite thin, and his strength much more than he realized, because suddenly, there was a gush of blood. The knife sliced straight through everything including his fingernail. (Gross!)

Thinking he'd jabbed under his nail, he grabbed some (undoubtably filthy) shop towels and wrapped his finger. The blood soaked through in a flash, which is when he figured he might be seriously injured. He grabbed a couple of extra shop towels and, of course, took the time to close and lock our heavy garage door. He got upstairs and rinsed off in the bathroom sink, leaving the place spattered with like a scene from a horror movie. (I definitely would have freaked out if I had seen it and not known what happened.)

Once he rinsed his finger and saw that he actually sliced off the tip of his finger, he decided to head to the hospital. He drove himself there (gee, why call an ambulance?) and ended up in the emergency room for about six hours. He said the worst part was having to soak his finger in iodine for five minutes straight while at the same time having his blood pressure taken. Ouch!

He has a huge finger splint and he's in a fair amount of pain today, but I'm telecommuting so I can take care of him. The good news is that the doctor says fingers heal very well and quickly, and since it was a small section that he lost, his finger will probably go back to its original state, nail and all. (He's like some freaky lizard!) However, the really good news is that since it's his middle finger, it totally looks like he's flipping everyone a big, mummified bird.