Clumsy, But Not Stupid

I don't know if I've mentioned my propensity for clumsiness, but well, I am a clumsy doofus.

Last night, I went to the store and bought a bunch of fruit to make a fruit salad. I was so pleased with myself for heeding the advice of all my domestic magazines that say the best way to make sure you eat the fruit you buy is to cut it into bite-sized pieces and store in the fridge.

I was cutting up the canteloupe and chatting with FMC when all of a sudden the ginormous knife I was using jumped off the table and accosted me, nearly slicing two of my fingers off. As I began weeping and wailing, FMC sat staring at me.

"Help!" I screamed. "I cut myself, it hurts, it hurts!" He finally shook his head and said, "I thought you were trying to juggle the knife."

Hello? I might be clumsy enough to cut my hand off with the knife on accident, but I'm not stupid enough to juggle it on purpose!